Getting a divorce can be one of the most heart wrenching experiences for the couple, but think about the impact it can have on the children. Regardless of their age, divorce can impact children in a lot of ways, and those ways may not always be so visible. It’s important to remember the impact it has on them when you’re guiding them through, even during your own heart break.
Keep Serious Talk Away From Children
It’s easy to let your fights and serious conversations take place around the children when you’re all living in close quarters, but it’s important to try to keep that part of your marriage as private as possible. Children can still pick up on hostility, and they will be aware that something is off, so make sure you keep the actual fighting far away from the child to minimize the damage.
Do Not Involve Your Child
Involving your child in divorce discussion or arguments is not healthy. A child can easily feel torn if one parent is talking badly about the other, or if they’re made to choose. It’s important to remember that the child needs both parents, so try to speak positively about your spouse whenever possible and don’t make them feel like there is a choice to be made between the two of you.
Let Them Express Themselves
Trauma isn’t necessarily caused by an event happening; it is caused by our reactions and lack of support during the event. If your child feels alone during your divorce, and doesn’t feel comfortable expressing their emotions about it to you, it will affect them much more in the long-term. Open up the conversation, and allow them to talk about their feelings surrounding the divorce. Showing that you are also sad about the situation allows them to register that the emotion is acceptable and you can help process it together.
It’s important to maintain routines as much as possible when big changes are happening, such as divorce. Whilst children are quick to adapt to change, this flexibility can be hindered when emotions come into play. Keeping regular routines minimizes the amount of change the child has to endure, allowing them to process the divorce and feel their emotions without outside distractions.
Divorce really is tough on everyone, and hopefully these tips will help you guide your child through the process. Meeting with a divorce attorney at Sarnacki Law Firm in Grand Rapids to discuss everything and anything regarding divorce mediation will take some of the pressure off you, so you can put these tips into practice and show your child how strong you can be through this life changing event.